Late at night is usually the prime time for my deep thoughts. Last night I was up with the lingering thought that I am truly not living my life. I feel every day is the same thing over and over again. I get up, go to “school”, do homework, watch tik tok / tv, and then do the same exact thing the next day. I could be on top of a mountain, painting in a foreign country, tasting foods around the world, but here I am stuck in my routined life. I could say that school, or the fact that I am too young is stopping me from living my life, but I fear that there will always be an excuse. I always think back to the bee movie, they go to school, and then work the rest of their lives. For what? As depressing as it is in the movie, it's as depressing in real life. Humans do the same thing, we go to pre- school, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, then work. All that preparation to work for the rest of your life? I want to try my best to deviate from the set path. My worst fear is nearing the end of my life, and feeling as though I haven't taken advantage of the life I was given. I think we all have the power to live our lives, but there's always something holding us back. Each day I am so lucky to have woken up, so I need to learn to take all the opportunities and new experiences I am given, so that my worst fear doesn't come true. What are your late night thoughts??
I could not relate to this more. I always find myself thinking about my future and about the meaning of life. I get into spirals where I stress myself out, so its nice to know that I'm not the only one that thinks these types of things. My late night thoughts usually consist of me remembering everything I have to do the next day or that week and getting nervous that I'll forget to do them. My deepest late night thoughts are basically what you wrote, where I question the meaning of life.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. To be honest, I don't know what "late" means for you because I know you go to bed much earlier than I do. I'm usually up at like 2-3 am and am constantly overthinking about things. I constantly freak myself out that life is moving too fast and I'm basically already in my grave and I'm not living it to the fullest. I also have no idea what I wanna do in the future so that tends to keep me up at night as well. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with this completely. It's like everyday is the same thing when we should be experiencing new things. At night when I'm going to sleep is when all my thoughts come to my head. Usually, they aren't good thoughts and have to do with my fears or anxiety. I will also usually think about things I need to do or things I should have done.
ReplyDeleteUgh I agree with this totally. I feel like going deeper into just "going to work" is important here. Not knowing what you want to with your life at 16-17 years old is scary because it feels like you're behind. I can totally relate to thinking I am wasting my life away on a repeat button, and constantly feel in an all for what mindset. Great post, got me thinking.
ReplyDeleteHey Diana, I could easily relate to this blog. Going to sleep can be difficult for me, especially after social events. I like to replay events in my head and think about what others think of me, but this can make it hard for me to go to sleep. Thanks for sharing, now I know I'm not alone with late night thoughts!
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